I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
