if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
