we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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