that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
