So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
