The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
