does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
