yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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