Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize