my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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