she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
