He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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