didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
