I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
