Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
