I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
