My liver just broke up with me...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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