I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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