it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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