just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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