cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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