16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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