I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
