You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I need water and some morals
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
