you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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