When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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