doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
