soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
