His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
