i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
