Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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