Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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