i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So here I am, sexting at work.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
