5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
