AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I need water and some morals
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
