I must be too annoying 4 u.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
