My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
