Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
