My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
