Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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