if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
