there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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