check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
