Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
