You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
