Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
