Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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