I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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