Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
