I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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