i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
