Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
