Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize