Sry I called you an 8
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
