Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
