Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
