He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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