I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
